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The Return
It feels as if I fell asleep in my 2008, 41- year- old- mother- of- 3's- body and woke up some twenty years previously!
The soundtrack to my life is again a 1980s stadium concert of giants U2 and Simple Minds, blasting out such emotional anthems as "Pride' and 'Mandela Day' and even the the air seems fresher, imbued with a youthful hope and sense of adventure.
Back then, I was a student interested in politics and social change and felt passionate about human rights and social justice.
Then I got married, settled down, created a family and a career and twenty years passed by...
until now!
I love this wave of change, optimism and positivity rising up and I'm poised with my surfboard to ride its crest.
Come on in - the water's warm and the rush will be amazing 
Tags: Youth; Optimism; Humanity; Social Change;justice; Ice
I wrote this poem a few years ago, recently found it again and thought I would share it here :)
Gently breathe a wish afloat
following its flow…
a tender glide into the sea of dreams;
a cloak of care,
of calm to soothe the swirling surge.
See it lap the shore, each ebb revealing
the smooth, still, virgin sand;
yet to sparkle in the rising sun.
Feel its warmth within the wrap
of the outstretched arms of the of the sun;
its sensuousness as you stroll on silk,
splaying tender toes
into the soft shimmer of the new.
Dust its twilight from the shoulders of your love
As you sit amidst the warmth of the flickering flames,
And embrace the glow- wish
in the nightly
shroud of peace.
Tags: Love; Breathe;tender Care;calm;soothe;smoothe;still;virgin;sensuousness;
Holistic Hearts And so the paradigm shifts; the picture is slipping out of it’s old familiar frame; and the old (financial) order is well and truly past its ‘sell by’ date. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for any economy stabilisation efforts, and can see that the rule of law and democracy still stand strong ... Indeed, one transcendent principle subsists, that which states ‘knowledge is power’. Knowledge, or at least the effective dissemination of it, will still allow you to accrue wealth, status and power. What has changed, is the nature of information that will be viewed as valuable. Take the recently toppled ivory tower of global finance, for example. How much information does the ‘average person’ now have about the workings of the stock markets? I, for one, have learned more jargon and developed more insight into the economic processes since the advent of the current ‘crisis’. I believe that institutions such as finance and law believe they profited from exclusivity; from being a minority in control of information which could benefit the majority. Indeed, psychologists have suggested that our brain has ‘evolved’ largely due the realisation that if we can know what someone else thinks they need, we can gain an advantageous position for ourself by ‘supplying’ it. However, this perspective taking skill can be significantly enhanced with even the most minute degree of empathy, and result in a whole new phenomena. Once the realisation dawns that we all, as humans, experience the same emotional and physical sensations (love and pain), our perceptions and decision making processes are irrevocably altered. This includes our choice to information share, Isn’t it obvious that the more insight and information that people have, the better informed their choices and the benefits for all become more apparent. You may be thinking ‘what about the people who choose to ‘mis-use’ the information? Well, I believe people generally act in such ways out of fear; and it’s fear of such behaviour that prompts people to limit information sharing. However, a lack of insight or information will never prevent someone from choosing to perform an anti-social or destructive act if they so choose. It’s just a lose-lose situation, a negative spiral of a misguided attempt to ‘control’ the actions of others. The use of emotions such as fear, guilt and shame to manipulate the actions of others is an outmoded model of social control, which has only resulted in the creation of greater levels of fear, guilt, shame and one of the most damaging and devastating emotional experiences - isolation. Anyway, any break –down or break- up, is always an opportunity for the creation of new connections; and with that comes new choices. We now have the opportunity to invest our money, and our energy in a positive way; to support people and organisations we can trust to create positive change in our world. Choose to invest wisely.
Tags: Financial Crisis; Fear; Empathy; Support; Choice Wise Investments
Comment on the Global Melt-Down We live in very interesting times. The old belief structures are crumbling. The pain is mounting for those who live in fear and self-interest. We are exactly where we need to be. The pain heralds a new era - the era we have been waiting for. It is a time for all conscious individuals to rejoice. As Leonard Cohen sings - there is a reason why there is a crack in everything...it is to let in the light. It is becoming abundantly clear that we cannot solve our current problems of existence with the same levels of consciousness that we created them. But the pain had to be felt in the rich countries before it could be remedied in the poor. What we are witnessing is the beginning of a global species shift from level 3 to level 4 consciousness in the Barrett Model. For this to happen, we had to totally deconstruct the paradigm of greed and self-interest that has characterized the past 50 years by doing away with the arrogance of assumed privilege that has permeated the rich nations and affluent societies of the world - both financiers and politicians. We must move beyond nationalism. We must move beyond self-interest. We must individually and collectively embrace the common good. We must move beyond short-term thinking to consider the impact we are having on future generations. We must move beyond being the best in the world to becoming the best for the world. We are learning that we live in a web of connectivity that goes beyond national boundaries. We are learning that sovereignty has no meaning in an interconnected world. We either come together as a species in a field of common values to make the concept of humanity palpable, leaving behind our national identities or we will remain separated by our beliefs and allow the suffering to deepen into chaos and mayhem. It is going to get much worse before it gets better. But, I say again, rejoice in this pain. Rejoice in the crumbling of the old era, because from the ashes of this so called modern civilization we will create a new world built on level 4 principles - the principles of equality, empowerment, accountability, responsibility, and continuous learning. We must create a values-driven society. Beliefs always separate. Values always unite. Just as atoms learned how to bond together to form molecules, and molecules learned how to cooperate to create a higher order entity called a cell; and just as cells bonded together to create organs, and organs learned how to cooperate to create a human being, so now it is time for human beings to learn how to bond together in democratic nations, and for those nations to learn how to cooperate with each other to create a new higher entity called humanity. Thankfully, we are ready. We have the models and the tools to make the evolution of consciousness, conscious. The world is calling you at this time to make a difference in the world. Please feel free to share this message with your friends. Richard Barrett Founder and Chairman of the Values Centre www.valuescentre.com
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Where there's a will...  there’s a way.
It’s true!
The human will is more than just an abstract psychological construct.
Farber (1966) has suggested that the important choices we make in life are not consciously experienced as choices, but can actually only be inferred after the event. This has been expanded upon* by use of the commonly held conception of the will in cognitive terms as a central executive system.
If you adopt this approach, then you can view the ‘wilful’ process as responsible for the filtering, organizing and integration of the vast array of feelings, thoughts, desires, needs, goals and expectations that constitute our personalities and inform our life choices.
However, due to the limitations of capacity of the conscious mind, the mind must surely, in part, operate on an unconscious level.
Have you ever been asked ‘how’ you managed an ongoing responsibility; or achieved something great, against the natural odds for success?
If so, it’s possible that you could not provide a full explanation.
Perhaps, like me you felt the urge to explore the phenomenon a little further.
PSI (personality systems interaction) theory** is an integrative framework that explains personality functioning in terms of the dynamic interplay between cognitive and affective mechanisms. It seeks to explain the nature of personality in terms of human creativity; intuition; sense of self; depression; and volitional action or wilful behaviour.
This functional approach offers a precise scientific language for existential concepts such as will, self and intuition. Thus addressing Jung’s assertion that ‘ scientific knowledge…in the eyes of modern man, counts as the only intellectual and spiritual authority’*** this approach can be seen as useful to help overcome the discomfort of rationalist and scientists with the metaphysical models of experience and existence.
Although far from a simple formula, the approach acknowledges the complexity of the workings of the human will; highlights the many ways in which healthy will may be frustrated; and seeks to help overcome the obstructive feelings of guilt, anxiety and alienation, without which we stand a much better chance of psychological growth.
*Greenberg, Koole and Pyszczynski ‘Handbook of Experimental Existential Psychology’
** Kuhl (2001) Motivation and personality: personality systems interactions
*** Jung (1957) The undiscovered self.
A dog for life?
With recent research* strongly indicating that owning a pet - particularly a dog - is beneficial for human physiological and psychological health you could be considering whether to invest in a pet.
This could be a good time to draw up a costs and benefits comparison chart.
After all, a dog is for life…and all of that.
After some 17 years without a dog, our household invested in a puppy just over a year ago, largely as a result of my intuitive initiative and many false promises of regular walkies from other family members.
Then, just as the sleep interference and house training was just about complete, someone else decided that some dog ‘company’ would be beneficial and so we invested in puppy number two.
And of course, just as with that halcyon image of serene siblings playing most delightfully in perfect harmony forever more…we now have two very different dogs and twice the number of pet demands.
So to the potential costs –
• Financial – food, vet bills , kennel accommodation during holidays
• Time - dogs like regular meals and exercise times
• Possible forced exercise regime – eg early morning/late night walks
• Damage – chewed shoes/furniture etc
• Noise pollution – random acts of barking for no apparent reason
• Dog odour – enough said!
And the benefits –
• Unconditional acceptance and affection– whatever time of day or however rough you might look or feel – they are always pleased to see you and they show it
• Good company guaranteed. Dogs are always up for it, whatever it is.
• Functionality as a favourably fashionable accessory – a good looking dog can get you noticed
• Transference of canine qualities to humans – many people assume you are a nice, approachable person when you have a friendly dog and they are then more inclined to talk to you
• Free entertainment for bored children (and parents) at weekends and in school holidays- just pick up a ball and throw it!
• A good excuse to escape a tense atmosphere at home
So now calculate using a points system, the sum of the benefits minus the costs and see what you get…
helen@formulaforchange.co.uk
*Dr Deborah Wells, British Journal of Health Psychology, 22nd January 2007
J McNicholas and G Collis, British Journal Of Psychology, (Vol 91) February 2000
Lynette A Hart, The Waltham Book of Human-Animal Interactions : Benefits and Responsibilities, Waltham
Dog breath - no, not the smelly, drooling type! Perhaps I should say 'dog breathing'; a sleeping dog at your feet can really focus your mind on your own breathing . And they always know the best way to face. To sit and watch the rhythmic sway of the branches of the flourishing evergreen at the bottom of the garden has such a settling effect. I welcome the rain ( from behind a glass fronted, warm room) as have been watching long enough to see the cycle, to know the rain clouds will pass over and so to welcome the drops, seeing them as a cleanser, a freshening agent. I have learned how much I love and appreciate space, how necessary it is to have the space outside of/around me as a reflection of the space within. I know why I am living here, where I now find myself: and that am indeed in the right place at the right time. I can look back now and see how all roads I have previously chosen have led me here, and I think the way forwards now has become somewhat clearer. I like time out! I highly recommend it - rehabilitation for the soul
Low levels of motivation can occur due to a lack of perceived reward for our efforts.
Basically, if we don’t believe that we’re getting to where we want to be, eventually we’ll stop trying and so stop achieving. However, waiting around for some ‘outside’ approval or reward does not guarantee us receiving whatever it is we think that we want. In fact, the reward is often most effective when it comes from within us. To reward ourselves is to validate our own efforts and achievements and so strengthen our resolve to continue to achieve. Also as we are not reliant on external factors , we are able to reward ourselves at any time and as often as we so choose.
So how can we achieve this?
Try the following five step guide.
1. Start the day by prioritising the things/activities that you actively want to do. We all have
commitments and tasks we don’t enjoy fully and the key is not to plan too much time in for them.
A classic error of judgement here is to allocate too much time for menial, uninspiring tasks and to only permit limited time for the more intrinsically rewarding activities. This is a pointless, self-punishing measure we erroneously employ when we have a irrational sense of guilt about
experiencing enjoyment.
However, as we have a naturally higher level of motivation to engage in/with the things we enjoy, allowing more time will ensure the satisfactory completion of the pleasant tasks and so place us in a more positive frame of mind and therefore more likely to succeed at the less enjoyable jobs. You may find that a natural balance between the two will ensue.
2. Flexibility - as with physical development , a flexible mind necessitates stretching and
experimentation. Being open to considering possibilities and changes is the first step in the practice of flexibility; whereas remaining flexible requires a sense of balance , which we can achieve with awareness and vigilance.
By keeping our options open, being prepared for more than the obvious, we are better placed for utilising the unexpected opportunities that may come our way. We are also less likely to experience frustration when events go awry courtesy of the influence of external factors – those over which we have no influence. This is especially the case, if we have a quick alternative for the use of our time lined up in the wings and waiting to go.
3. The 3 R’s - Reflect, Re-evaluate and if necessary, Re-schedule.
Flexibility can be enhanced by these processes. Take advantage of a natural break in your day to reflect on how things are progressing. If your time is appearing to become more limited or extended then a re-evaluation of your intended activities might prove fruitful. This is also a good point for a reward. Remind yourself how making it this far through the day, having achieved all the things to this current point, is something to celebrate. And be prepared to re-schedule any cancellations on the part of another, at your convenience.
4. Respect and trust your own decisions, plans or arrangements. They were made with your
knowledge, insight and reason so why let someone else rearrange things to suit their needs at the expense of yours?
A refusal need not be offensive, so if your boss asks you to stay late it’s fine to explain that you have a prior commitment on this occasion. You’re not saying you’ll never stay late or arrive early , and you may want to offer up an alternative solution to help out with the situation. If you are both sincere in your intentions ( yours to assist and her/ him to do a good job)then the situation will resolve itself. You cannot be responsible for the intentions or behaviour of another but you can always choose your own response in a given situation.
5. Finally, reward yourself for the day’s achievement(s). It does not follow that for you to receive a reward, someone else will have to miss out on anything. So spend some time with yourself or someone of your choice; engaging in something refreshing, revitalising or relaxing; perhaps invest in something that you will benefit from in a wholesome way.
Remember that you investing in yourself will enhance life for those around you, and on becoming motivationally self-sufficient, you will be setting an example, providing a living, breathing example.
 If someone told you that you could have everything exactly as you want it, in all aspects of your life as long as you could paint a clear, accurate picture, incorporating symbols of everything that you want or think you need, how much effort would you put into it?
Would you trip yourself up at the outset by saying ‘I can’t paint?’
Maybe your way would be to take yourself off to research the whole history of art and artists in order to gather all the information you need to know to create a picture of your own?
Perhaps you would sign up for art classes, telling yourself that when you are highly skilled at watercolours, oil on canvas or line drawing you will start work on your personal masterpiece?
It could be that you are already adept with the paintbrush but are presently toying with different styles and not exactly sure of your genre?
And what about other people? Would they understand where you were coming from? Would they like your work? What if someone was offended by your picture and refused to speak to you ever again?
Then, of course, there’s the possibility that you would be letting everyone who looked at the picture into some of your most closely held secrets…
I’m sure there are also many additional reasons why the painting, once completed, might never see the light of day.
Of course, there are a myriad of ways to create the life you want to lead, and just as many ways, reasons, excuses we can employ to avoid the responsibility for the creation.
You actively choose where and how you live; you choose who shares your life; and how you make your money and spend your time. We all use symbols to create meaning, for example, words are symbols of communication that we use to express ourselves and create a meaningful existence in the form of relationships with others.
Although it’s rewarding when other people recognise and appreciate our symbols, we still have and constantly use our own personal symbols on a sub-conscious level, regardless of approval from others.
Conscious choice, including close attention to detail to our symbols can result in a more vivid and rewarding reality.
For me, such details as beautiful locations; quirky situations and genuine, happy people feature as some of the symbols I choose to express my chosen experience of existence.
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