I caught myself laughing out loud as I read an article today by Steve Pavlina, creator of “Self Improvement for Smart People”. The article was entitled “How To Build a High-Traffic Web Site (or Blog)” so my assumption was that it would be filled with tips and tricks on Search Engine Optimization and nifty new tools for communicating your presence on the web.
What I found was so much more enlightening because he talked less about the mechanics of a functional website and more about the necessity to bring something to the table that helps the readers, and comes from a place of love, authenticity and truth.
There’s one thing I can say about Steve Pavlina… he doesn’t pull any punches. In his last tip, he wrote the pungent (and brutally, honestly accurate) words that made me chuckle from my own experience of reading a number of personal development material articles and books over the last 20 or so years.
“One thing that turns me off about typical self-help marketing is that authors and speakers often position themselves as if they’re the opposite of their audience. I’m successful and you’re not. I’m rich and you’re not. I’m fit and you’re not. You need me because something is lacking in your life, I have exactly what you lack, and if you pay me (and make me even richer and you poorer), I’ll show you how you can have it too.
And if it doesn’t work for you, it just means you’re even more of an idiot than the people who provided my testimonials.
I’m sure you’ve heard this sort of nonsense many times before. All of this I’ve-arrived-and-you-haven’t stuff is stupid. It suggests that life is about destinations and that once you’ve arrived, you’re done growing and can just relax and sip fruity drinks for the rest of your life. But there’s more to life than border crossings. If you go from single to married or from non-millionaire to millionaire, that’s fine and dandy. Crossing the border into parenthood was a big one for me. But that’s only one day of my life, and to be honest, I didn’t have much control over it except for a decision made nine-months earlier (and it seemed like a pretty attractive idea at the time).
What about all those other days though? Growing as a human being is something I work on daily. I’m deeply passionate about my own growth, so naturally I want to share this part of the journey with others.
If I start marketing myself with the “I’m successful and you’re not approach,” I hope someone will come put me out of my misery, since that would mean I’m done growing and rea
dy to die. I don’t expect to ever be done growing as long as I exist as a human being. There are always new distinctions to be made and new experiences to enjoy. And yes… plenty of mistakes to be made as well.”
I usually run across something on his site about once a week that merits printing off and reading to my husband while he works in the garden, or as we sit in the living room after dinner. This was one of those articles that brought both of us to such a great state of mind as we both explore our new website opportunities and try to develop content that will help our readers and fulfill our callings.
We sometimes question our ability to help others when we are not as knowledgeable as we’d like to be. We have learned, however, that life is a continuous learning experience, and sharing what we learn as we go along can help so many others – especially if we are willing to come from a place of partners in the journey.
We can never stop learning – unless we are ready to stop living.
I write about this subject quite often because I see it so much, and it actually makes my skin crawl a little because it’s hard to believe that there are people out there trying to tell others how to live their lives, when they are obviously a little “off kilter” as my Daddy used to say.
I can’t remember where I heard this story, most likely from Wayne Dyer or some other guru in my CD collection. I couldn’t remember exactly how it went, so I surfed around and found it at another blog site:
The tea cup
Contributed by: Michael Kilman www.SpiritualAlchemyCoach.com The following passage can be found in the book "Tales from the Tao" pages 118-119 compiled by Solala Towler (publisher of "The Empty Vessel)
"There was once a highly educated and somewhat arrogant student of the Tao. Upon hearing that an old sage lived nearby he decided to visit so that he could show off his great depth of knowledge in hopes of gaming some new tidbit to add to his resume.
When he arrived at the sage's home he was surprised to find it but a humble hut.
Inside, and old man with a long wispy beard and bright shining eyes sat over a tea kettle humming to himself.
Presently he looked up and, upon seeing the student outside the door, bade him enter his hut. He then sat the student down in the place of honor and asked him to join him in some tea.
They sat, and while the student boasted about his education and recounted his many accomplishments, the old master began to fill his guest's tea cup.
As the student rambled on and on so too did the old master keep pouring tea into his cup until the hot tea overflowed across the table and poured onto the students lap.
"What are you doing, you old dolt?" he shrieked, leaping from his chair. "You are spilling tea everywhere. Can't you see that my cup is already full?"
The sage calmly stopped pouring tea and looked at him. "Your mind, sir, is much like this teacup. I am afraid it is already too full for me to be able to fit anything else into. Else it will surely run over and spill everywhere."
- Traditional Chinese Tale
Arrogance gets in the way of our own potential. If you want to find wisdom, you must remove arrogance, move away from the ego, and open your mind and heart.
How can we possibly think that we have learned enough or learned it all? How can we say we know the truth with absolute certainty?
There is so much to learn about and to experience.
I aspire to be a life-long student and hope that my tea cup never runs over.
