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I Am Strong
Posted On 04/14/2008 11:40:09 by Savanna
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September 2007 Cherkasy, Ukraine
I am seeing day by day that I am strong...I am strong. I am starting to really understand the reason I survived my birth and came out so strong having been born 3 ½ pounds, 10 weeks early, and fully well in intensive care after 2-4 weeks. Since the day I was born, I have had this inner strength, and what happened this morning revealed just one reason I came here in form. I never thought I would be in an almost third world country hospital having a tourniquet belt on my arm giving blood to a woman I couldnt understand. Never did I think that one of my best friends would be so ill. For the first time in my life I am consciously seeing someone I care about go through alot of pain and fear. I witnessed it as a child with my mother having the aneurysm and my grandmother on her death bed. But this time, I am involved in a much deeper way than before. I fully understand what is happening and what it means. Rev. Barbara said to me this morning, "Savanna, you were ready for this. Spirit is calling you to look deeper into yourself for your love, compassion, and strength. There is no wasted energy. This is only helping you learn to become more conscious and react consciously instead of emotionally." This is true. This morning at 7am I waited on a curbside in the quiet city of Cherkasy, in the cold for Vitalik's parents and him to take us to the hospital. As I got into the car, I felt an eerie feeling inside and looked at Vitalik as he gave me a half smile and asked how I was. As I looked at him, his face was yellow and his mouth dry...I felt like crying but my heart went out to him. I could see how ill he was and I remembered to be strong for him. I could feel his fear and his parents' fear even though he would not say it. They feared for the worst. As I waited outside with his father, Vitalik and his mother proceeded to talk to the doctor about his symptoms. I immediately felt moved to stop inside the car and pray...I visualized his smile that I so often see and him covered in light...I imagined us both in light and knew that Spirit was with him every step of the way. They informed him that he has the symptoms for the virus Hepatitis A or Jondus. This is apparently common in Ukraine mostly when people do not have proper hygiene or dont wash their fruits and vegetables well. I was a little nervous to walk inside knowing I wouldnt understand what was being said. I walked in and Vitalik put his hand on my back as we walked upstairs to wait for our test. No paperwork..no money. I waited. We talked. He said he felt nauseous and that his nights were horrible because he couldnt breathe. I sat there in confidence and with great compassion, hurting inside for him....wishing I could make it all go away...and wondering if this was the reason I came to Ukraine..if I was to come here to experience all of this for my own inner strength and to be there for him. Thank God I could hear my mother's voice this morning before going in if only for a moment. I felt calm and actually just smiled as we walked upstairs because it was so surreal yet I felt God with me. We walked into a room and I placed my arm onto a pad and the woman so gracefully took my blood...I watched in awe as we gave them the needles and syringes we brought from the store, they looked to me like the ones I had when I would play doctor in the bathtub as a little child. After, I spoke with Vitalik and he informed me that he had to stay there overnight and if he was sick would have to be there for 3 weeks. I felt ill and quite sad for him. I cant imagine really what he is thinking inside. As I told him goodbye, I said, "I love you. Eta harasho..It's ok. Call me when you know." He just smiled and waved a peace sign to me...Sooo Vitalik. As his father drove me home, all I could think about was how thankful I am that I was there with him to be of support...as scared as I was..I was strong...he is strong. We hold him in light. I realized later that Hepatitis A is the mildest type and easiest to endure. . and thank goodness my vaccine 6 weeks prior to arriving in Ukraine was for Hepatitis. As emotional and sensitive as I may be and have been over the years, I know that I have a deep inner strength...it is what pushed me to be on this planet..As my mother has always said, "You were supposed to be here...you have things to do." Perhaps this is just one example of why...to make me stronger and to give others the strength they need
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