I don’t really know, since I am not a psychic or a relationship expert. Some of you out there are EXPERTS or have a LOT more KNOWLEDGE in this field. Perhaps, and if you would please email me at Author@MasterCreditRepair.net and tell me. I think I need to implement that concept in my next book and/or relationships.
However, throughout life, I realized that in ANY type of relationship (whether it is just starting, a new blossoming, or even very established and ever-lasting) the following must fit and be true. AGAIN, PLEASE correct me.
A. COMMUNICATION
1. Communicating: In any relationship, communications is the key. Whether in letters and emails, phone conversations or face-to-face, a conversation must consist of the actual content of the subject matter being discussed and some sense of understanding of the other party. We live in a sophisticated MULTI-cultural world and understand everyone’s thought process is not as black and white as a letter or email, or even most times A simple ONE-phone call. Understand sides.
2. Change communication methods: Any time that one method of communication is not really working, it is best to revert into another method. That’s why when we write letters to people (whether business or personal), once in a while, we pick up the phone, call the recipient and say: “Hey, I just called to see if you’ve received my letter, do you have any questions, what do you think, or make comments, raise questions…” In other words, do SOMETING to open the line of communications (IF YOUR ARE INTERESTED). Possibly, I am old fashion. However, throughout years, I learned one type of communications might sometimes get misconstrued. For example. In a letter, you may be able to express some of your thoughts/feelings yet, does not matter how hard you try, you would not be able to express ALL your feelings; because, you cannot really express your tone. Whether it is a soft and pleasing tone, directing, commanding, demanding or bluntly being angry tone, you cannot truly express these in letters. To give you an example. I bought a software for my website sometime ago. I was under the impression that the software would do what I wanted to do for my Credit Repair ebook. I was misunderstood. As a result, I emailed back and forth with the vendor and through several emails, I received a response saying: “please don’t shout at me.” Being insulted (both of us), I asked either for the vendor to call me or provide me a phone number so that I could call. In our conversation, I was informed that because I have some words capitalized in my emails, it was construed as “SHOUTING.” Although I had no intentions of that, I used CAP. letters to emphasize my point. However, a phone call resolved all issues.
A friends of mine, who we mentor each other due to our versatile experiences, meets with his parties (even if he has to travel 300 or 500 miles to talk with the party face-to-face. I asked him, why. I suggested, “Its insane. If you were going to meet this person for the first time after several communications, then I would understand. However, driving such a distance (chance of accident, …), going through two states just for a lunch meeting when you treat this person as one of your close friends of years, it is illogical.” The response I received was logical. He said, “Talking with people face-to-face and looking into their faces and eyes, reveals a lot of things that you will never be able to see on the phone, letter, email, or even a gift package.” What do you think?
3. Changing tone of communication and removing the dryness. As a person who has seen a lot of stress in my days and nights, I learned one thing. If I want to be dry and serious in everything I DO, I WILL LOSE THE SENSE OF BEING THE HUMAN THAT I WANT TO BE. What do I mean by that? Allow me to give you an example. On behalf of my clients, I talk with corporate executives; as well as, some bimbo (dumb-butts out there) who think- they know everything that there is about the law and the world. Therefore, some of my conversations are down right nasty when I realize that the party on the other end of the phone doesn’t get it. Meanwhile, a minute later, I am as pleasant and funny as I can be with the next person in the same company. I joke, ask about the weather in their neck of the woods, while I am discussing what is going on with my clients’ account and making my request and demands. As a result, I established relationships with executive offices of some major corporations to the extent that some of them; as soon as, they hear my voice, they know who I am. We joke, tease, and discuss clients’ issues and nicely resolve the matter(s) or sometimes leave as it is… To some others, I may need to say my first name, and others I may even have to repeat my last name and even joke with them saying, “this is Mike Samadi, your worst nightmare you know…” but, because we established relationship through letters, faxes, emails and many phone calls. They know I am just joking. In order to lose that dry sense of communication-making it pleasant, sometimes humor, teasing or joking around would add on to the sensitivity, make the communication more pleasant and parties more comfortable. Sometimes with some arrogant corporate representatives, even VPs or presidents (who can’t come off their high horses), my tone on a phone conversation gets serious and nasty (at times). When I realize it is not working then, I draft a proper letter and forward it to the company or the person. Then, the direction changes in my favor. Do I draw a picture? The rules of communications is not a straight line; because, we do not know how other party feels or react to ONLY one method of communications AND/OR to the tone in that communication (especially in this crazy multi-cultural world we live in). Please correct me if I am wrong and present your input.
4. Patience: This is a factor that I guess I lack a lot. I learned that a liar will always trap him/herself. Those who claim to be honest, most times reveal their hidden secrets shortly later. I don’t want to share my experiences in this matter. They are extensive. I finally concluded that I will see if a person is honest when he/she shows me with action and not words. Years ago, I was testing a friend’s honesty and loyalty to me. I took $12,000 (no especial sequence) cash and spread it all around the house, some in obvious places, some hidden to be found easily and some not so easily. Left town for a couple of days - living her alone at the house. Of course she had visitors. What she had done surprized me. She collected all of the money she could find and stacked them in a safe place. We had met just a few months prior. What do you think?
B. HONESTY and TRUST.
It is also important to reference these two words when we are talking about business or personal relationship. Throughout the years of my short –yet-learning life, I understood that honesty is the key to success. I can provide several examples. But I am only going to give you a “consolidated” one. I used to own real estate properties while I was working on my computer projects and before my life took a massive down turn (being hit in so many directions in life –especially during the 8 recent years of HELL). If you are interested to read about what happened and how I took control of a life that was under the control of many people and agencies -you got to wait and read “When I-RAN”-coming in Dec. 2008). Here is the example. I had a set of tenants that as soon as they moved-in, their first monthly rent was paid using a check from a closed account. Of course the check was given to me towards the mid month. By the time my bank notified me, they were due for another payment. Therefore, I had another bounced check. As a result of my begging, requesting, demanding and their deceptions, the husband ended up in jail, and family evicted, stuff thrown on the side of street… Two years later, the lady found me, called and asked me for help. The first thing out of my mouth was, “why do you call me, the person who evicted you, throw your husband in jail …?” She stated, “ you were at right, we did you wrong and you had all the rights to do what you did…I am sorry for that…” A similar situation happened in another occasion.
When I review consumers’ credit reports and interview them, I realize if they are honest or dishonest as I am speaking with them over the phone or especially in person. It doesn’t matter how hard one tries, you will never know if a person is being honest with you - in a letter or an email.
Let’s see why. It does not matter how good a deceiver may be, but in a phone or face to face conversation- question after another, exposes stuttering, lack of proper response and many other factors to include the tone-change that reveals the hidden secrets. A face to face communication even reveals a lot more as you have eye contact, visualizing -body language, face/color change, sweat, and signs of nervousness that cannot be seen through the phone, email, letters, etc. In my opinion, the least honesty you can receive out of anyone in a communication is through an email, or letter. Do you know WHY?
You see. One thing I learned throughout my short-learning life is: experiences I gained through LIFE (especially later). Possibly, I started life later than most others did or do. Because, I not only had to adapt to a life without parents, get influenced with horrible so-called friends in my teen years, live and learn on my own (especially new rules and culture) and the hard way. By the time, I realize that I just knew a bit to be dangerous to myself, life had passed me by. Or that, was I gaining different experiences the hard way?? I forgot the title of the song by Pink-Floyd that says,
”Tired of laying in the sunshine, staying home to watch the rain. You are young and life is long, there is TIME to kill to day. And then, one day you find, 10 YEARS … …” TIME is the essence of our lives.
I hope I did not bore you.
I wrote a bit about these issues in my first book called “Bad things Happen to Good People. Your Credit = Your Life, Fix It Now!”.
Again, the reason, I wrote these words was not to advertise my website or books, but to get your opinion about my understanding of communications in a relationship (whether business or personal). I know some or most of you out there are a LOT more EXPERINCED than I am. And that I am still a child learning how to get out of fire. Yet, my sign is “WATER”
THEREFORE, PLEASE, PLEASE take the time and correct my thoughts.
I sincerely thank you for your time to read and reply.
Mike Samadi
Tags: Relationship Communication Understanding Spiritual Love Personal Busi
