The Illusion of the Quick Fix
It’s no secret that we live in an era of “Quick Fixes”. Technology and science have made instant gratification the mantra of the 21st Century.
In past generations the average citizen simply did not have the means to satisfy all of their “urges” or correct every imagined problem with the push of a button or the drop of a credit card. The fulfillment of needs and desires took longer and occurred more organically if at all. We didn’t feel we had any choice in the matter.
But now technology is so omnipresent and affordable that virtually all of us in the “developed” world have access to Quick Fixes in nearly every area of our lives. We can cut to the chase without doing any of the crucial steps in between. We can instantly get all of our needs fulfilled. Or at least we think we can.
- Want better health? Take a pill – there’s one for everything!
- Want instant wealth? Come up with the right “dot.com” idea and sell it overnight for millions!
- Want a new relationship? Throw away your old one, join eHarmony and find a better looking or richer mate in ten minutes!
- Hungry? Need an energy boost? Grab a blast of sugar and a Venti Mocha Latte at the nearest coffee shop or drive-through!
- Want friends? Join a chat group!
- Looking for sexual gratification? Internet porn is a mouse-click away!
- Want to find the meaning of life? Take a weekend seminar!
- Bored? Switch on the 51-inch plasma TV or the iPod! Have a drink! Smoke some weed! Pop a pill!
- Lonely? Send a text message!
- Hungry for knowledge? Google it!
The problem with Quick Fixes is that they don’t provide LASTING results. In the end they leave us feeling empty, hollow and unfulfilled. The stark fact remains, even in this hyper-caffeinated, fast-forward age, that most things of value require time. Why is that?
Quick Fixes fail to take SEQUENCE into account
In order to gain true and lasting fulfillment in the most vital parts of your life, you must learn to do things in the proper sequence. You can’t decorate a kitchen without first laying a foundation for the house, then adding the frame and walls.
Sequence is vital, both in the physical world and in the world of human desires and dreams. The right sequence will give you the missing building blocks for durable structures you seek, both inner and outer.
What are some ways we get sequence messed up? Here are just a few examples:
- We have sex first, friendship second
- We try to create wealth without first considering our values, our innate gifts and what truly makes our heats soar
- We go after a degree to earn, rather than an education to learn
- We buy the right house, the right car, the right computer, the right vacations - and neglect becoming the right person for ourselves
- We pursue a prestigious job title in order to gain a sense of importance in the eyes of others
In short, we get it all backwards.
Let’s look at Relationships a little more closely to further our understanding of the importance of proper sequence. Many of us try to gain fulfillment, happiness and a sense of completion by adding a new person to our lives. We go for what we think is the goal line and miss what’s important. And sometimes we end up unintentionally in needy, depleting, dysfunctional relationships.
What is the correct sequence for building meaningful relationships?
1. Learn to have a relationship with yourself first. Before you can have meaningful, satisfying adult relationships with others, you have to know who YOU are. One of the main ways you can learn this is by finding out who you are NOT (i.e. you are not your stuff, your job, your thoughts, your self-image, your parents). This type of discovery takes commitment and attention as well as spiritual and emotional courage. It can’t be rushed or quick-fixed. It requires slowing down and getting grounded in what’s real.
2. Accept yourself for who you ARE and who you are NOT. Only by completely accepting who you are can you stop trying to “complete” yourself through other people. When you learn to look within, not without, for your primary source of fulfillment, you will stop using others as “fixes” for your own neurotic ends. You will naturally stop blaming others for anything that goes wrong in your life.
3. Enter relationships from a position of strength, creativity and giving, not need. Only a fully functional person – that is, someone who knows and accepts himself or herself fully – is qualified to be in a functional, healthy relationship with you. All relationships based on “need” deplete your power.
There is one major reason why we constantly try to “jump sequence” and go for the Quick Fix
That reason is lack. We feel a void, a hole, an absence in our center and we seek to fill it by taking in something outside of us. This sense of lack causes us to rush processes (such as forming relationships) to gorge ourselves and to constantly think there’s never enough.
Where does this sense of lack come from? It’s a direct result of failing to take Step 1, above. We don’t bother to find out who we really are and, consequently, we go around feeling incomplete, broken and needy. So, our “minds” urge us to find Quick Fixes to fill the void.
What’s the solution?
The first and main step is to go “out of your mind.” Only by repeatedly experiencing a quiet state of inner presence – below the realm of thoughts - do you begin to get a glimpse of your real nature. Once you get a true taste of the still, deep fullness that lies at your core, you start to recognize that nothing you could possibly consume or acquire in the outside world could ever come close to bringing the kind of fulfillment that is available simply by being and accepting the real you.
The more you go “out of your mind”, the greater the sense of completeness you begin to bring into all areas of your life. You’ll realize that the “Real You” is already magnificently whole – infinitely so, in fact. It is missing nothing; it needs nothing. Once you know this first-hand, lack no longer drives the bus in your life. Honoring the Real You, in all of its fullness and glory, becomes your number one priority.
When the Real You becomes your priority, everything slows down and begins to naturally occur in the proper sequence. Relationships can now grow organically and maturely. Wealth and abundance can flow from sharing your true gifts and talents and by doing what makes you happy. Radiant health can replace weakness, illness and addiction, as you no longer feel the need to ingest poisons to give yourself a “fix.”
So, the next time you find yourself itching for anything or anyone and looking for a Quick Fix, spend some time alone with yourself. Reconnect with the Real You that requires only your love and attention in order to feel complete.
©2008 - Michelle Rigg
About the Author
Personal power expert Michelle Rigg is the author of You Must Be OUT of YOUR MIND: A Step-by-Step Guide to Creating More Power In Your Life. Her clients usually see remarkable improvements in income, relationships, communication, focus, and clarity after completing just one workshop or telephone laser session. For a FREE 5-step course that will supercharge your personal power, visit http://www.createpersonalpower.com.
Tags: Personal Power Success Total Responsibility
